Fifty Shades Saga

Oh yes, I decided to read the trilogy. And dissect it, bit by bit. All I can say is: it’s a paragon of excellent writing, subtle, unpredictable plotting, and deft characterisation that is unparalleled in modern literature.

Also, I’m lying.

50 Shades of Grey

Chapter 1                                        Chapter 14
Chapter 2                                        Chapter 15
Chapter 3                                        Chapter 16
Chapter 4                                        Chapter 17
Chapter 5                                        Chapter 18
Chapter 6                                        Chapter 19
Chapter 7                                        Chapter 20
Chapter 8                                        Chapter 21
Chapter 9                                        Chapter 22
Chapter 10                                      Chapter 23
Chapter 11                                      Chapter 24
Chapter 12                                      Chapter 25
Chapter 13                                      Chapter 26

50 Shades Darker

Prologue                                          Chapter 12
Chapter 1                                        Chapter 13
Chapter 2                                        Chapter 14
Chapter 3                                        Chapter 15
Chapter 4                                        Chapter 16
Chapter 5                                        Chapter 17
Chapter 6                                        Chapter 18
Chapter 7                                        Chapter 19
Chapter 8                                        Chapter 20
Chapter 9                                        Chapter 21
Chapter 10                                      Chapter 22
Chapter 11

50 Shades Freed

Prologue                                        Chapter 14
Chapter 1                                       Chapter 15
Chapter 2                                       Chapter 16
Chapter 3                                       Chapter 17
Chapter 4                                       Chapter 18
Chapter 5                                       Chapter 19
Chapter 6                                       Chapter 20
Chapter 7                                       Chapter 21
Chapter 8                                       Chapter 22
Chapter 9                                       Chapter 23
Chapter 10                                     Chapter 24 
Chapter 11                                     Chapter 25
Chapter 12                                     Epilogue
Chapter 13

Meet Fifty Shades
Fifty’s First Christmas

Want to read them yourself? You can buy the entire trilogy here, if you’re a glutton for punishment. Ironically.

17 Comments on “Fifty Shades Saga

  1. Oh god that was hilarious. My stomach genuinely hurts from laughing so much, you definitely have to read the rest of the trilogy because it literally gets no better.

  2. I am praying EL James writes another book or three, solely so you can critique them. Although laughing out loud at your scathing criticism of Ana and her non-existent work ethic is somewhat hypocritical given I have just read the last few chapters here while at work.

    • I simultaneously hope she writes more and hope she never writes again…!

  3. Omg this is hilarious! Definitely made getting through some of the chapters a lot easier lol
    But then I got distracted by the Lizzie Maguire inner goddess pages too, the frequently used words (the constant frowning even with the orgasms, the whispering coz no one can talk – drinking game anyone?)

    I agree with your comment about reading being escapism, and can see (sadly!) the attraction of the Cinderella storyline. You have to remove everything and just keep the girl meets boy, fall in love, marry, have kids, happily ever after tho…

    It took me awhile to work out why this series got under my skin, Ana is completely unlikable as a main character. The minute she starts dating (submitting to?) Christian everyone else in her life is forgotten about. Made me wonder why… So I started thinking about her as a real person. Her mum left her at a crucial age for a new husband, and the step dad was emotionally stunted. Ana was left to fend for herself, and we’re also told she starts looking after him, and then Kate when she is in university (I have to remind myself constantly that Ana has a degree!). Makes sense then that when Christian comes along offering to protect and care for her that she welcomes it and defends his behaviour. Given her low self esteem (no self worth or idea that she is actually attractive and wanted by her male friends) I could see her actually liking and welcoming being ordered around as it makes her feel “wanted”. In some ways she is as messed up as he is
    As for Christian’s behaviour… Pfffft. Not even going there

    Not an ideal situation however you look at it, but I guess it’s how my head decided to rationalise the relationship

    Thanks again for this site! The book was hilarious enough, but this is a delightful cherry on the top :)

    Sorry for the long post! So many more complaints about the books, but time to move on :)

    • Love it, very thorough interpretation! Ana’s definitely messed up too. I’m glad you like my site :)

      • Thanks :)

        Now to wait till I can borrow a copy of the movie… See how bad EL James has ruined that too. I’m rolling my eyes in anticipation lol

  4. Not sure where to post this, but thought I’d share the horror (or laughter?!)

    First off I recommend checking out the honest trailers look at the 50 shades movie on YouTube. Good for a laugh!

    Not that I want to subject you to more torture, but please tell me you will adding El James new book Grey (the 50 trilogy in Christian’s point of view!). I know exactly what we’ve done to warrant another book, but at the same time I am cringing

    • Oh yes, I’ve seen that honest trailer, it’s amazing!

      I will be reading EL James’ next book (whenever I can get my hands on a REALLY cheap copy). I won’t be doing chapter by chapter again (by brain may atrophy if I do!), but expect a scathing review…

      (How unfair of me to assume it will be bad…)

      • Yeah I know what you mean about wanting a cheap copy! Amazon Australia keeps lowering the price on it here. It started at something like $16, then went down to $13 now it’s down to like $10! I’m hoping that means that people aren’t pre-ordering the thing and not the opposite

        Not only am I expecting it to be bad, I’m expecting it to be boring.. I’m cursing that I can’t walk away from it. I’m suckered into the curiosity of I just have to know, plus I’ve read the other ones and seen the movie… Damn I’m sad lol

        Looking forward to your review :)

        • No, I know exactly what you mean – it’s like watching a car crash, too awful to look away. I just can’t believe her newest book isn’t even a new STORY! Unbelievable.

  5. I’m back for a whine and your humour :)

    So not only has the cat killed my curiosity, but it’s gone and attacked my common sense and sanity too! I caved on the book…

    The first bad sign started when chapter one is a barely reworded copy of the interview scene. This takes you to 5% complete, and yes I’m that riveted by the writing I’m counting my torture!

    Second the book has the same slow pace as the trilogy. I was naively hoping that Grey would condense the 3 books into a solitary affair, skipping to the end as I can’t contain my excitement my fears are realised when I spot the “cliffhanger” signalling Christian is gonna get his own trilogy…

    It has me thinking tho, a different perspective for the same novel doesn’t have to be bad. I’ve read a series a few months ago that did this and enjoyed it a lot. However the author had enough common sense to only include the main interactions and give the audience something new for the storyline and characters but still end at the same point. Needless to say E L James does not do this, it feels like a copy of the previous one in a new packaging. There’s disappointment and then there’s what this book does to you…

    I am now at the 20% mark, my brain started its self preservation mode after 10%. I’m pretty sure it coincided with Christian’s increased stalking tendencies and just general absurdity. One line has me more annoyed than others, Christian mentions Elena getting her claws into him (the one who introduced him to the lifestyle when he was 15). Is it just me or the word choice of “claws” is him acknowledging that she was in the wrong? Something early Christian certainly doesn’t feel at the present point in time. That comes way later when he’s knocked Ana up…

    • You are braver than me, to tackle it so soon! I’m working myself up to it…

      I was wondering whether it would be a one-off book or another trilogy – I can’t BELIEVE there’s going to be three more of these. Doesn’t she have enough money yet?

      It’s really interesting that you’ve read a different series that did this well, further proving that the 50 Shades series simply ISN’T GOOD. And as for “claws” – that’s certainly a level of self-awareness early Christian shouldn’t have!

      Best of luck with getting to the end, I hope you make it with your sanity intact. I will follow you, eventually.

      • Haha I made it! I’m so upset with myself lol
        Not only did I make it, but my kindle survived the many beatings this series causes

        I’m gonna say around the 40% mark you just get into the groove and switch off till the end. There is barely anything new, basically a rehash of convos and emails between them. I’ve read reviews of ppl asking how there can be anything new, well they aren’t together 24/7 and there should be some depth to Christian

        Working up to it lol, I would’ve thought you’d have to work down to it… lol

        I’m pretty sure my sanity has gone. I just can’t work out WHY these two are together. If what I think is true and Elena picked all of Christian’s submissives, then first relationship syndrome for the pair of them is the only thing I’ve got.

        • “around the 40% mark you just get into the groove and switch off till the end”

          Haha! You know a book is dreadful when your brain ceases to engage.

          Congrats for making it to the end – you should read something truly excellent on your Kindle now as a sort of purge. :D

  6. More action happened in the last five chapters of the last book than in the whole series…Why wait so long to make something interesting happen and then end it in a hurry? The fact that this sold so many copies should be a true sign as to the state of our education system in the United States. We’re in trouble folks.

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