50 Shades Freed – Chapter 21

Last time Ana told Christian that she was pregnant and he responded by yelling at her, going out and getting pissed, and meeting up with his ex-Dom, Mrs Robinson aka Elena Lincoln. Ana found the texts while he was asleep and is, quite rightly, freaking out.

Read Chapter 20.

50 Shades Freed
Chapter 21

How could he? How could he go to her?

Because he’s a terrible person. Why don’t you know this yet?

His wrath and fear, his need to lash out at me I can understand, and forgive – just.

Why? It was a horrible way to treat you!

The knife twists slowly and painfully deep in my heart, lacerating me. Will it always be this way?

Of course it will, BECAUSE IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY.

But it’s not just me now. No, I will not let him do this to me and our Blip.

Christian’s going to be all, “I was right, you’re choosing the baby over me.” WELL, YES, IF YOU’RE GOING TO BE AN ABUSIVE ASS.

Ana forwards Mrs Robinson/Lincoln’s text to her own phone. Then she starts proper snooping through his phone: she checks his emails and finds one from the man who’s been looking at Jack Hyde’s computer. Hyde had resumes/photographs/addresses for all the Greys and Ana.

I am not sleeping here with him. He can wake up alone tomorrow.

The ultimate revenge: withholding spooning.

I unlock the playroom door and enter. I curl up on the Chesterfield couch and wrap myself in the duvet.

I thought there was a bed in the playroom? Why would you sleep on the sofa?

She texts Christian, who is still dead asleep.

“WOULD YOU LIKE MRS LINCOLN TO JOIN US WHEN WE EVENTUALLY DISCUSS THIS TEXT SHE SENT TO YOU? IT WILL SAVE YOU RUNNING TO HER AFTERWARD. YOUR WIFE.”

It is in all-caps because she’s angry.

He’s going to have to choose – her or me and our Little Blip.

Seems reasonable. I wonder if he will react reasonably.

The next day, Ana finds herself in the playroom with Christian banging on the door. She goes outside and finds him in the kitchen, with all the staff. She locks herself in the bedroom and Christian bangs on that door instead.

I climb into the shower, effectively blocking him out. Oh my. This feels so good.

Bit sexy, is she going to start masturbating?

I briskly dry myself with another towel and wrap it around me.

Why does she never pleasure herself? She could do that AND sex.

I stride past Christian.
“Are you ignoring me?”
“Perceptive, aren’t you?”

Ruined your silent treatment by making a point.

In an act worthy of an Oscar winner, I let my towel fall to the floor and pretend that I am oblivious to my naked body. I hear his restrained gasp and ignore it.

God, they’re both so nasty to each other.

“Why are you doing this?”
“The time for talking was yesterday, but instead you decided to rant and get drunk with the woman who abused you for years.”

Badass Ana is back, but she still ain’t badass enough to leave him.

“It wasn’t like that.”
His eyes follow my hands up my legs, but I continue to ignore him as I roll on another stocking.

Could this be the first time she EVER turns him down for sex?

He keeps asking her where she was, like it wasn’t obvious that she had locked herself in the playroom. Ana asks if he slept with Mrs Lincoln and he looks horrified.

“You think I’d cheat on you?”
“You did. By taking our very private life and spilling your spineless guts to that woman.”

OK, he for sure betrayed you but it technically wasn’t cheating.

“Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt me by going to see that woman?”
I’m on a roll, my inner bitch unleashed.

Standing up yourself does not make you a bitch.

“I do choose this defenceless baby over you. That’s what any loving parent would do. That’s what your mother should have done.”

Ooh, ouch.

“You can either do this with me, or I’ll do it on my own. The decision is yours. I’m going to work and when I return I’ll be moving my belongings to the room upstairs.”

I swear, if she caves in and has sex with him, I’ll scream.

She stands there in just her boots and underwear, lookin’ all sexy. He steps towards her and she tells him to back off.

“You’re my wife,” he says softly, threateningly.

A wife who is wholly in control of her body – don’t you dare threaten her for turning you down.

“If you touch me I will scream.”
“No one would hear you.”

Jesus Christ, these are veiled rape threats.

If he touches me, I will succumb.

WHY? WHY!? HE’S INSANE.

The argument continues: she tells him she’s mad for running to Elena, and he says he’s mad at her for forgetting her contraceptive shot. By the end of it nothing is resolved. She goes to work.

My BlackBerry buzzes. It’s Kate.
“Why was Christian looking for you?”

I don’t understand why he assumed she went out somewhere – wasn’t it obvious she was still in the apartment? He was banging on the playroom door this morning.

The Katherine Kavanagh Inquisition begins.

Heaven forfend your best mate should worry about you.

I throw myself into my work, pausing only at lunchtime for a cream cheese and salmon bagel.

And this week in Unnecessary Details That Add Nothing To The Plot, Ana’s lunch.

She goes to visit Ray in hospital. He’s looking better, sitting up and talking.

“We had a fight,” I whisper, trying to speak past the knot in my throat. “We’ll work it out.”
“He’s a fine man, your husband,” says Ray.

Maybe hear her out, rather than shut her down?

Back at Escala, Christian is not home.
“Christian said he’d be working late,” Mrs Jones informs me.

So reassuring that he’s rushing home to sort out his marriage.

“You should know Mr Grey was frantic this morning when he thought you’d left. He was beside himself.”
Oh…

Best forgive him then.

I place my hand on my belly. Maybe this is not meant to be… No! If I terminate this pregnancy, I will never forgive myself – or Christian.
“Oh, Blip, what have you done to us?”

Blip’s done nothing; you’ve done this to yourselves.

I finally let myself go, sobbing into my pillow, great heaving unladylike sobs of grief…

Who gives a shit if you’re crying in a ladylike way?

Christian has come home and left again by the time she wakes up. He emails her at work to say he’s flying to Portland for business. This is ridiculous, is TALKING TO HIS WIFE not top priority right now?

My BlackBerry buzzes.
“Well, hello there, Ana – long time no speak.”
It’s Jack Hyde.

Brilliant, the marriage will be saved by a kidnap attempt or something, and the romance of it all will make us conveniently forget that this is a horrible, horrible relationship.


Read Chapter 22.

Why not let me know what you think? You can buy the book here, or the entire trilogy, if you’re a glutton for punishment. Ironically.

About abusive relationships
Domestic violence helpline 0808 2000 247
Help for abused men 0808 801 0327

About eating disorders
Eating disorder helpline 0845 634 1414

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3 Comments on “50 Shades Freed – Chapter 21

  1. I hate this book. It’s making me sick. It isn’t even funny any more. How DARE E.L. James glorify abuse (and pretty much rape) like this? This is disgusting, abhorrently chauvinistic and just an unbelievably bad example for people to follow. As someone who knows more than they would like to about abusive relationships, I wish I could find every woman who enjoys this book and talk to them. No woman deserves this. It’s heartbreaking. Okay, rant over.

    • I’m just hanging on for the end now – I know it’s going to be awful, but I just can’t wait for it to be over.

      Perhaps I could go out as Christian for Halloween? That would be the scariest costume of all.

      • Actually that’s perfect! It’s scary/comic (in a dark twisted way)/offensive.

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