50 Shades Freed – Chapter 12

Last time Christian tried orgasm denial and it didn’t work. Instead it made Ana have an epiphany, that this man might actually be quite abusive, so naturally she swept it under the carpet. We also ‘discovered’ that Jack was planning to kidnap Ana.

Read Chapter 11.

50 Shades Freed
Chapter 12

“I thought you were born here in Seattle,” I murmur.

What a betrayal. It’s almost like you rushed into marriage too quickly.

“No. Elliot and I were both adopted in Detroit.”

This is the most boring ‘revelation’ I’ve ever read.

“So Jack is from Detroit.”

So what? Is there a law that fellow Detroitians can’t kill each other?

Somehow they get distracted and start chatting about how Christian was neglected as a child. Christian says that part of his life is over, but she points out that he has to live with it every day, which is why he likes to control her.

“And yet you choose to defy me,” he murmurs.
Holy cow! Do I do that deliberately?

Don’t accept the abuser’s logic. What you are doing is LIVING YOUR LIFE, which continues to be acceptable, even after you’re married.

“Christian, I know you loved your mom, and you couldn’t save her. It wasn’t your job to do that. But I’m not her.”

Where did Ana suddenly get a brain?

“Do you still love me?” he asks.

Don’t worry on that score, you’ve got her well and truly brainwashed.

“But I need to know … why did you safeword, Ana?”

Oh, safeword is a verb now.

What can I tell him? That he frightened me. That I didn’t know if he’d stop. That I didn’t want things to escalate.

Tell him that.

“Were you going to let me come?” My voice is barely a whisper.
“No,” he says eventually.
“That’s … harsh.”

That’s torturous.

“But effective,” he murmurs.


“I got carried away.” He reaches down and kisses me. “Lost in the moment.” He kisses me again. “Happens a lot with you.”

This does not justify your behaviour, for fuck’s sake.

And for some bizarre reason the thought pleases me.

Yay! He loves me enough to torture me!

“It means I can trust you … to stop me.”

But she can’t trust you not to get to the point where she needs a safeword. Sorry, needs TO safeword.

“I need control, Ana. I can’t let go of it. I can’t.”

Sure sounds like something any control freak would say, before a psychiatrist teaches them how to let go.

They say “I love you” to each other and that’s it. They have resolved nothing and in fact might have made a lot of things worse. He’s revealed to her a little more of his suppurating soul and she’s like, “Cool, I’m all over that.” They go to sleep.

I wake with a start, disoriented. Where am I? The playroom.

Wow, such scene setting.

Holy shit. He’s having a nightmare.
“No!” he cries out.

‘No’ isn’t the safeword, Christian.

“Christian, you’re having a nightmare. You’re home. You’re safe.”

Boo, you’re no fun. Should have let him stew in it.

He wakes up.

He keeps me still as his knee parts my legs and he nestles between my thighs.

Nightmare to sex in three seconds flat.

His erection sheathed in denim pushes into my soft flesh.

Sounds like he’s wearing a denim condom which, I imagine, would be less than ideal.

I want him. I want him now. I want to heal him. I want to heal me … I need this.

I want to stop reading. I want to stop reading now. I want to read something else. I want something else to read me … I need this.

And in one swift move he buries himself inside me. I cry out from surprise at his alacrity.

I looked up ‘alacrity’: ‘brisk and cheerful readiness’. Not sure Christian has sex with anyone cheerfully.

He comes powerfully, pouring himself into me.

That sounds … not terribly nice.

He fingers her to climax (God, I write sentences like this now), then he’s back at full attention again (no such thing as a refractory period in Grey Land) so they go at it again until at last, mercifully, it is over and they go to sleep again.

My eyes spring open. Christian is not in bed, though it’s still dark. Then I hear the piano.

Leave me be, I am brooding.

The tune he’s playing is so sad – a mournful lament. I watch him while the achingly sorrowful music fills the room. Why such a plaintive tune?

We get it, he’s sad.

She takes him back to bed. They fall asleep and wake up yet again. How are they so filled with energy for sex when they never sleep through the night?

“After I have made love to my wife, and she’s cooked me breakfast…”

It’s not an order if you have sex with her first.

“…I’d like to take her to Aspen.”

This is the holiday she bought at an auction, with his money.

“Won’t it take hours to get to Colorado?”
“Not by jet,” he says silkily.
How could I forget?

Because you’re a fucking moron. Or is it because you’re ‘not used to being rich yet’?

A bit later, they’re getting on the jet and he says he has a surprise for her.

I turn and gasp. Kate, Elliot, Mia, and Ethan are all smiling and sitting in the cream-coloured leather seats. Wow!

Wow! This sure will be unbearable!

I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him hard.
“Keep this up and I’ll drag you into the bedroom,” he murmurs.

You’ve had sex at least five times in the last 24 hours. Aren’t you worried about chafing?

The brunette woman – um … Natalie? – who was on the flight for our wedding night appears.

Surprised you haven’t pissed on Christian to warn her off.

“Good morning,” she says with a purr.

Why with a purr? Can any woman in Christian’s company not be constantly sexy?

Why does she make me uncomfortable?

Because you’re PARANOID.

Maybe it’s that she’s a brunette. Christian doesn’t usually employ brunettes because he finds them attractive.

Ah yes, and he might accidentally fuck them.

“Hope you packed your hiking boots,” he says.

Might be something to tell her before she packed.

“You okay, following the Hyde business?” Kate asks me.
I don’t want to think or talk about Hyde, but Kate seems to have other plans.

Fucking Kate, showing concern for her friend again.

Kate asks more questions (bitch) and Christian confesses that they know something about Jack Hyde’s background.

“His dad died in a brawl in a bar. His mother drank herself into oblivion.”

Christian, you have so much in common. You should be mates!

“His mom got back on track. Hyde won a scholarship to Princeton.”

Why bother with an education when you can fuck the CEO and be made the boss?

“But surely he can’t have pulled this stunt alone?” Kate asks.
“We don’t know yet.”

Hmm, who else has a grudge against Christian? I wonder. I wonder.

I don’t want to encourage Kate’s questions. I’m sure she’s on Christian’s shit list since Cocktailgate.


Ana asks Christian if ex-Dom Elena might be in with Jack. It’s like EL James is trying to make us think this so that when it turns out to be Leila we’ll all be surprised. Well, NOT ME!

Natalia appears abruptly from the gallery.
“May I offer anyone coffee?” she asks.

What a cliffhanger! I can hardly wait to read on!

As a side note, an article has been published this week, claiming that women who read Fifty Shades are more likely to have eating disorders or abusive partners. Although this is terrible, it doesn’t surprise me, since this trilogy certainly glorifies and romanticises abusive behaviours.

If you are in an abusive relationship or have an eating disorder, there’s loads of help out there for you. I’m including some resources below and I’ll be putting them on all my 50 Shades posts.

Please, please seek help. Things can get better.

About abusive relationships
Domestic violence helpline 0808 2000 247
Help for abused men 0808 801 0327

About eating disorders
Eating disorder helpline 0845 634 1414

Read Chapter 13.

Why not let me know what you think? You can buy the book here, or the entire trilogy, if you’re a glutton for punishment. Ironically.

7 Comments on “50 Shades Freed – Chapter 12

  1. “I want him. I want him now. I want to heal him. I want to heal me … I need this.”

    THIS! If he is whole, then she is whole. Therefore, she must ‘save’ him.

    This whole chapter kept the alarm bells jangling in my head. It’s actually weird how Ana immediately feels ‘uncomfortable’ around any given person who might turn out to be villainous in the story, but when it comes to C, she starts Holy Cowing all over the place and lets him convince her that she has the problem not him. You’d think she’d be BFFs with her former boss and all his badness with all her internal ‘I did NOT see it from this bastardy pov. I’m so stupid’ dialogue.

    Your comments and links at the end were more than sobering. There is real shit happening to women out there, and then there is this book glorifying the fuck out of it. Sheesh.

    Thanks for the update.

    • Yes, it’s all getting a bit sinister, I must say! Hopefully people are starting to take notice that this book could be actively damaging to some people (quite apart from the fact that the writing makes me twitch).

  2. I forget but did the whole Christian food-policing Ana to eat come to any end? Was it revealed his mom had some kind of eating disorder or her being a crack addict made her forget to eat so that’s kind of a ‘thing’ with him?

    • The food-policing is still sort of going on, but it seems to have died down (mainly because she’s ‘definitely not his sub’ so he ‘can’t control what she eats’). He still mentions it now and again – she seems to need to be reminded to eat a lot of the time.

      I think it definitely has to do with his childhood, when he was left alone with his sick/dead mother with nothing to eat but frozen peas. Jolly!

      • Lol why do I get the feeling its not going to be explained at all? I mean, the emotional and physical abuse is one thing but the food policing feels rooted in something. Like if Ana had an eating disorder and Christian was supposed to remind her to eat so she wouldn’t keel over or if he’s overly protective of her because she reminds him of his mom and she was on drugs and didn’t cook and he took care of her. That WOULD be interesting if the book explored that instead of sounding like an episode of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. X_x

  3. Actually to safeword and safewording are very common ways to express that, so at least James got that right. But yeah, you don’t do that kind of play without discussion first. And you dont get to unilaterally decide your wife is your sub again when you feel she needs to be punished.

    • Ah well, perhaps EL James did do some research then! But yes, good point, you can’t just spring that stuff on someone…

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