50 Shades Freed – Chapter Two

Ana was conveniently dreaming about her wedding day (EXPOSITION!) and woke up on her back, sans bikini top. Christian is livid that her boobs are no longer his.

Read Chapter One.

Fifty Shades Freed
Chapter Two

“I was on my front. I must have turned over in my sleep,” I whisper weakly in my defense.

How about just saying, “They’re my boobs and I’ll flash them if I want to”?

He scoops my bikini top from his sun lounge.

I CANNOT roll my eyes any harder.

Christian reminds her that they are constantly being followed by security men and paparazzi. Ana’s a big shot now so she keeps forgetting about their entourage.

He pulls on his shorts, even though his trunks are dripping wet.

Maybe Christian’s enjoying this rather more than he’s letting on?

He remains silent, brooding and bad-tempered, and it’s all my fault.

Jesus, it was a fucking MISTAKE.

Christian leads me onto the dock, where the motorboat and Jet Ski are moored.

I don’t know why she has capitalised jet ski.

Christian kicks the Jet Ski away from the dock.

So last chapter was ‘sun lounge’. It looks like this is the chapter of the ‘Jet Ski’.

They arrive at the yacht (after many more mentions of the Jet Ski) and Christian seems a bit happier.

“You think I’m going to punish you? Do you want to?”

Do you want ME to. Grammar.

The steward appears with our drinks and snacks and places them on the teak table.


“It’s odd. Going from nothing to” – I wave my hand to indicate our opulent surroundings – “to everything.”

Yes, a middle-class life is certainly ‘coming from nothing’.

“You’ll get used to it.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.”

You’ve forgotten that you have a security detail. You’ve gotten used to it.

Oh God no it’s time for another freaking flashback. This time to their conversation about pre-nups.

“I’m not discussing this again,” Christian snaps at Carrick. “No prenup!”

Why? Is he simply too romantic now?

“Ana, this is not about you,” Carrick murmurs.

It is. It is entirely about her.

End of flashback. Ana pushes the bowl of nuts towards Christian and he says, “I’m nuts about you.” For the love of all that is holy, stop.

Oh my, the look he gives me could be solely responsible for global warming.

Because it’s … laden with CO2?

“I’m going to make an example of you. Come. Don’t pee,” he whispers in my ear.

Taking sexy talk to a whole new level.

They go to the yacht bedroom and he strips, then gets out a pair of handcuffs.

Handcuffs! We’ve never used handcuffs. Where the hell is he going to attach those?

On your HANDS.

Thank heavens I’m married to this man, otherwise this would be embarassing.

Yeh, sure, that’s how sex works.

He grasps my left leg and snaps one cuff around my ankle.

Well, colour me surprised, he’s using them on her feet.

He blindfolds her and gets her to hug her knees, then he handcuffs each foot to its corresponding hand, so she’s all tied up in a nice handcuffy bundle.

Oh my. I am so aroused … already.

That would be because of all the sexy things you’re doing.

This feels weird – being trussed up and helpless – on a boat.

Sure, on land you’d just roll off down the street like it doesn’t matter.

“Now,” Christian breathes, “I’m going to fuck you till you scream.”

He said he’s going to fuck you till you scream.

He rears up and slams into me. I scream.


He slams into me again, thrusting so deep, and I’m building…

I still don’t know why he told her not to pee.

This is too intense. I can’t stop him. I don’t want to stop him … I want … I want … oh no, oh no … this is too …

Possibly the most coherent sentence EL James has ever written.

I detonate around him, screaming loudly as my orgasm rips me apart.


He uncuffs her and they go to sleep. The next morning they wake up, unfortunately.

I stare at myself in the mirror, shocked. Holy fuck! What has he done to me?

Another chapter ending on a cliffhanger. Oh, the tension.


More next week!

Read Chapter Three.

Why not let me know what you think? You can buy the book here, or the entire trilogy, if you’re a glutton for punishment. Ironically.

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3 Comments on “50 Shades Freed – Chapter Two

  1. I’m still not over her Chandler impersonation by the way. I don’t think I’ll ever be over it. Could she BE any more pathetic?

    Since I’m not reading the book, and solely depending on you to let me know what the story is (aside from the obvious, see: crap) I’m dying to know what that sex scene was all about. Punishment? A secret “thank you for flashing your boobs?” or just a regular “We’re on my rich husband’s boat and hey handcuffs too, so here’s E.L showing vanilla with a twist? – I’m so confused, please help.

    Also, why didn’t he want her to pee? Did she WANT to pee? Did he allow her to pee after? Did she sleep all night holding it in? WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE PEE?

    This is terrible, and now I need a bathroom break.

    • Even though I read it, I’m not entirely clear what the sex scene was all about because they seem to make up beforehand. I think it is ‘punishment’ for getting her boobs out, but it’s probably just an excuse to use handcuffs in a scene.

      As for the pee, I’m clueless! She didn’t say she wanted to pee, there was no mention that not peeing made it more intense. The next morning she wakes up needing to pee, but that’s all! Maybe James is building up to an exciting UTI subplot? Fingers crossed!

      • Thanks for the explanation (not that the BOOK offered one in any way). Also, I think a UTI sub-plot would be fantastic, or maybe all this mention of “pee” means a build up to Ana being told by Robot that she now must pee on a stick to confirm her pregnancy (because you know, Ana wouldn’t know what to do if she missed her period)

        Or hell, maybe that trussed up position he handcuffed her in puts too much pressure on the bladdar? Maybe Ana will sing about it in the next chapter and how Robot-Gee-Whiz knows EVERYTHING.

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