50 Shades Freed – Prologue

So, here we are again. For the next five or six months you can expect a weekly dose of me growing increasingly enraged and disillusioned with the entire publishing industry, as I plough my way through the final book in the Fifty Shades trilogy. At least at the end of this one there won’t be any more for me to read. But there will be a movie. My goodness, I can’t wait for the movie.

Here’s a recap of the Fifty Shades story so far.

  • Ana Steele, hapless virgin and somehow a graduate despite the fact she’s never owned a computer or bought her own clothes, stumbles headfirst into the office of young, attractive billionaire, Mr Christian Grey.
  • During their subsequent encounters we learn that he is attractive, complicated, attractive, dark, attractive, obsessed with Dom/sub sexual encounters, attractive and messed up since childhood. Did I mention that he’s attractive?
  • We meet Christian’s gun-toting stalker ex-girlfriend, Leila; and Ana’s pervy boss, Jack, who Christian gets fired.
  • Ana and Christian do the ‘will they, won’t they’ dance for the length of two books, at the end of which they decide to get married. LOL.

You know you’ve written a quality trilogy when its entire plot can be summarised in four bullet points.

Read the whole lot on ‘The Fifty Shades Saga‘ page.



Mommy! Mommy! Mommy is asleep on the floor.

Oh goody! A prologue written from child-Christian’s perspective! We’ve never seen that before! Except, of course, that this is exactly how she started the last book.

My tummy hurts. It is hungry.

Really? Would a child not just think ‘I am hungry’? Would they really consider their organs as separate entities?

Mommy wake up! She lies still. She is cold.

She’s cold? Maybe her body is dead.

I fetch my blankie and I cover Mommy.

A child with a blankie? Straight out of EL James’ Big Book of Original Ideas.

In the freezer is something. It smells funny. I eat it slowly. It tastes nasty.

I do hope we get an explanation of whatever it is child-Christian just ate.

The door crashes open. I cover Mommy with my blankie.

Already did that.

The lady policeman is here. No. No. No. Don’t touch me.

Nice subtle reminder that he doesn’t like to be touched.

“Christian! Christian!” Her voice is urgent, pulling him from the depths of his nightmare.

Jesus, I’d forgotten quite how many chapters start with characters waking from dreams. It’s good to be back. (It’s not.)

She is sunshine, she is light … she is his.

She is his surrogate blankie.

“Please let’s not fight.”

I’m pretty sure that wasn’t on her mind until you said that.

“The vows. No obeying. I can do that.”

Gee, thanks, Christian. Nice to know you’re not completely archaic.

…her lips on his, bringing him back to the now.

He was talking. He was already in the now.

And thus concludes the prologue. What a tease. Come back next week for another little piece of my soul!

Read Chapter One.

Why not let me know what you think? You can buy the book here, or the entire trilogy, if you’re a glutton for punishment. Ironically.

About abusive relationships
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Help for abused men 0808 801 0327

About eating disorders
Eating disorder helpline 0845 634 1414

2 Comments on “50 Shades Freed – Prologue

  1. Oh! Ohh! Ohhh! It’s the vortex. You’re going to suck me into the vortex again!
    Double crap!!
    Triple crap!!!
    This means a trip to the liquor store.

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