Updated on August 5, 2015
50 Shades Darker – Chapter 19
Ana is out with her friends. I don’t understand! How can this be? Has Christian died or something? Yes, probably. He (and his helicopter) has gone missing.
50 Shades Darker
I stare at the flames, mesmerized.
Oh no! Is this the burning wreckage of Charlie Tango, with Christian’s flaming corpse inside?
…the fireplace in Christian’s apartment.
OK, fine, maybe not.
The flames shimmy and flicker, holding me captive, keeping me numb.
God, I’d forgotten that Ana waxes poetic when she’s really sad.
Anastasia, you’ve bewitched me.
He said that the first time he slept with me in my bed.
Is this just going to be a chapter of edited highlights from their relationship?
…the world falls away from me and reality bleeds into my consciousness. The creeping emptiness inside expands some more.
Can reality bleed? Can emptiness expand?
Mia and Grace come in.
They gaze at me, pain and anxiety etched on their lovely faces.
Oh, let us all sit here and look at Ana, beautiful in her grief.
I can’t bear to see the news item again – CHRISTIAN GREY MISSING.
Did somebody tells the news stations? Why?
He’s been missing for eight hours. No sign, no word from him.
That’s what ‘missing’ means.
There are copy and pasted sentences of things Christian has said to her in the past. If this were a movie, wobbly images of Christian would be whizzing around her head, speaking in an echo-y voice.
Please let the rest of his life not be this short.
If God is listening to that prayer, he’s probably thoroughly confused.
All our tender moments: the lipstick, when he made love to me for the first time in the Olympic hotel…
IT IS! IT’S JUST A SUMMARY OF PREVIOUS MOMENTS IN THIS BOOK! WHY IS THIS ACCEPTABLE MATERIAL FOR A CHAPTER?
I will be nothing without him, nothing but a shadow – all the light eclipsed.
Nope. Gonna need some light for a shadow.
I gaze unseeing into the fire once more.
You can see the fire so … not unseeing.
There are more bloody LISTS of everything we’ve already read.
I cannot speak, I know I will dissolve if I do.
Oh, would that that were true.
It’s after eleven, heading toward midnight. Damn time!
That’s right, rail against abstract concepts. That’ll help.
MORE FUCKING LISTS.
Oh please, Lord, bring him back, please let him be okay.
All these sudden prayers jar with her character, since she’s not been established as having ANY religious background.
Then Grace shrieks, and everything goes into slow motion.
Don’t mess with a mother whose shrieks can bend time.
…there in the entrance stands a dismayed Christian.
Oh yay, he’s fine. Can I stop reading now?
Holy fuck … Christian. He’s alive.
Yep, got that already, thanks.
I gaze numbly at him, trying to work out if I’m hallucinating.
How often do you hallucinate if you have to WORK OUT whether it’s happening or not?
“I died a thousand deaths today,” [Grace] whispers.
Aren’t the super-rich wonderful? They even quote Shakespeare in the depths of their grief.
Scalding tears pool in my eyes.
Ouch! Let them fall!
He’s here, he’s fine. But I cannot move.
BECAUSE YOUR GRIEF IS SO MUCH WORSE. NOBODY COULD POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND.
Christian asks why everybody is here looking so miserable, and they have to explain to him that he’s been missing for eight hours.
“I didn’t think it would take this long.”
For goodness’ sake, you didn’t think your overly emotional family and girlfriend might, maybe, freak the fuck out?
Look, Christian, all these people love you! Perhaps now you’ll start believing it.
She’s so wonderful, she’s already transcended the horror of the situation to reach the moral lesson.
I raise my tearstained face to his, and he kisses me far too briefly.
What, did you want a full snog in front of his parents?
José has been comforting Ana. Now he steps forward to talk to Christian.
“Thanks for letting me stay.”
“No problem.” Christian narrows his eyes.
Suspicious Christian is suspicious.
Christian launches into his story.
Ho ho! Launching like a … helicopter … launches?
I can barely keep up, I’m so dazed.
Please try. It might be important.
After describing Christian’s hands and his watch for a while, Ana turns her attention to the story. Christian was flying with Ros, his number two. They took a detour to see a mountain, so they happened to be flying low when a fire started in the tail. They landed, put out the fire and walked to the nearest road, where a truck driver picked them up and drove them back to Seattle.
“Electrical failure … that’s odd, isn’t it?” Carrick says.
Ooh, mayhaps some foul play is afoot?
“I’m okay, Mom.”
“Yes, I think you are,” she says slowly, glances at me, and smiles.
ANA, YOU’RE SO BRILLIANT.
Mia and Ethan are having a heated whispered conversation … Mia is smiling shyly at Ethan, and he’s gaping at her and shaking his head.
Matchmaking not going so well?
“Look. I’ll turn in … leave you guys,” [José] says.
I blush. Why is this awkward?
Because he knows you’re going to bang Christian’s brains out not three rooms away from him.
“Christian,” I gasp, and my tears start anew.
Sure you’re not hallucinating those tears? Better check.
“…in the few seconds of sheer terror before I landed, all my thoughts were of you.”
Stop nattering and go fuck each other already.
I realize I’m still holding his shoes. I drop them noisily to the floor.
I fail to see how you’d drop them quietly.
Kissing, embracing, etc.
“I need to put my jacket down,” he murmurs.
“Drop it,” I murmur.
From the inside breast pocket he pulls out the small box I gave him that contains my present.
Oh my God, the present. I can barely contain myself.
“Open it,” I whisper.
Is it a ring? Please be a ring! I’m so excited! (Psst. I’m not.)
His brow creases as he fishes out a … key chain, featuring a picture made of tiny pixels that flash on and off like an LED screen.
How long did it take her to write that completely opaque description?
The word YES flashes on and off on the key ring.
“Happy birthday,” I whisper.
SQUEEEEEE! They’re getting married! What a fucking dismal idea!
Read Chapter Twenty.