50 Shades Darker – Chapter 17

They have tentatively started to use the BDSM equipment again, stuff from the ‘butt drawer’. Also Ana’s boss, Jack, tried to force into having sex with him and got fired for his troubles. I wonder if she’ll still go to work. You know, she really doesn’t NEED to.

Read Chapter Sixteen, or read the whole lot on ‘The Fifty Shades Saga‘ page.

50 Shades Darker
Chapter 17

“Morning, baby,” he whispers. I feel his erection against my behind.

Just another boring day in the Christian Grey household.

He’s smiling down at me – his dazzling, all-American-drop-dead-male-model-perfect-teeth smile.

I think she’s done it. I think EL James has finally used up all the hyphens in the world.

His intrepid fingers move down, and slowly he eases one inside me, hissing quietly in awe.

Ah yes, the awe-filled hiss. I know it well. SSS … wow … sssss.

He kneels and rips open the foil packet.
“I can’t wait until Saturday … I can stop using these fuckers.”

Ah yes, I’d forgotten that he put her on the pill without asking if she wanted to.

His body covers mine.

Again the sex scene is skipped over. I’m somewhat relieved.

“What would you like for breakfast, Ana?”

Unfortunately, the same mercy is not shown for the breakfast scene. That we get in excruciating detail.

I’ll skip the breakfast scene for you. Now we’re outside and Ana is trying out her new car.

I’m … practically bouncing like a small child in the comfortable leather seat. Christian is finally letting me drive my car.

That’s good of him! You have a wonderful man there! He buys you a car and even lets you drive it!

Putting the gearshift into drive, I ease my foot off the brake and the Saab moves smoothly forward.

She’s acting like such a child, I’d almost forgotten she could drive.

“Can we have the radio on?” I ask.
“I want you to concentrate,” he says sharply.

For fuck’s sake, put on the radio if you want to.

Hmm … someone who can’t be touched can’t be that at ease. I frown at my errant thought.

I’m sure it doesn’t notice.

They plan to see Dr Flynn, Christian’s shrink, that evening so she can find out just how messed up her lover is and probably still not run away like she should have done WEEKS AGO. Then they have the SAME conversation again: I’m not enough for you, You are, Please don’t leave me, I promise I won’t…

“Who’s to say that one day you won’t meet someone who likes doing what you do? And who’s to say you won’t fall for her?”

If everybody avoided relationships for fear that their partner might one day fall for someone better suited to them, NOBODY WOULD BE IN A RELATIONSHIP.

When I reach my desk, I find a note asking me to go straight to Elizabeth’s office.

Ha, they’re probably going to make her the boss or something.

“I’ve called you in to inform you that Jack has left the company rather suddenly. His rather hasty departure has left a vacancy, and we’d like you to fill it for now, until we find a replacement.”

Oh God, I was joking! And they’ve actually done it! She’s been working there, what, a week? And now she’s the boss? I can’t … can’t even.

“Your chapter notes haven’t gone unnoticed … You have a shrewd mind.”

But she never does any WORK! When has she ever made a bloody chapter note?!

“Look, think about it. In the meantime you can have Jack’s office.”

I’ve been at my job for over a year and they haven’t made me the boss yet. Maybe I should piss around and email my boyfriend more.

“I’m glad he’s gone,” she whispers and a haunted look crosses her face. Holy shit. What did he do to her?

Something horrible, probably, because she’s not as badass as you.

What does she do right after her meeting? She calls Christian. Well, no point in starting any work now. He had nothing to do with her getting promoted, so this is all off her own back. Ridiculous.

Holy cow – Anastasia Steele, Acting Editor. Who would have thought?

Nobody. Literally NOBODY would have thought.

“Ana, we need you in a meeting at one o’clock … the company president and vice president will be attending.”

Of course they will. And they’ll adore her.

Ethan turns up at reception. She goes to see him and he says she looks hot. She begs him to take Mia, Christian’s sister, to lunch because her meeting means she can’t make it any more. Mia turns up looking super hot so everything’s fine. Ana still hasn’t done any work.

The meeting went well. I have even secured approval to accept the two manuscripts I was championing.

Why hasn’t anybody given her an honorary doctorate yet?

I pick up my BlackBerry to email Christian.

That’s probably worth a Victoria Cross, AT LEAST.

“How is your day going, baby?”
“The day has flown by. I have hardly had a moment to myself to think about anything other than work.”

Don’t lie.

At five-thirty, I clean up my desk. I can’t believe how quickly the day has gone.

It was about three pages long, and none of that was actual work.

She goes to meet Christian and they to go to Dr Flynn’s office.

“Christian,” I pull the small black gift box from my purse. “This is for your birthday.”

I don’t know what this is yet. My bet is … cufflinks in the shape of handcuffs.

“You can’t open it until Saturday.”

Oh, boring. I’ll give even less of a shit then.

As we enter, Dr Flynn stands and walks over … He wears black pants and a pale blue open-necked shirt – no tie.

Thanks for the details. I have such a good sense of his character now.

A small table with a simple lamp is between us.

Good, fucking complicated lamps piss me off.

“I’ll be in the waiting room,” Christian says, his mouth a flat, grumpy line.

Come on, you had to know she wouldn’t want you listening in.

“Ana, in the very limited time that you’ve known him, you’ve made more progress with my patient than I have in the last two years.”

Christ, she’s a psychological genius too. Batting trained professionals aside left, right and centre.

“I just don’t know if I’m enough. To fulfil his needs.”

Oh THAT’S the problem? You should have said! I didn’t know!

“Needs change. You’ve forced him to confront some of his demons and rethink.”

It’s OK, Ana. You cured him. Well done.

“Of course, there are obstacles – his haphephobia for one. I mean his fear of being touched.”

Haven’t you heard? She fixed that too!

Dr Flynn explains that sexual sadism, conducted in safe, consenting conditions is absolutely fine.

“You’re the first lover who hasn’t consented, so he’s not willing to do it.”

Yeeees … why did you pick out that word?

“There are no guarantees in this life.” He smiles. “And that is my professional opinion.”
I smile too, weakly. Doctor jokes … jeez.

Was there a joke there?

“I don’t mean to stress how important a role you have in his Damascene conversion – his road to Damascus.”

Hey, can you mention Damascus again? I don’t think you’ve flogged that metaphor enough.

They finish up and leave. José calls and she invites him to stay with her at Christian’s. He gets all edgy, asking her if her relationship with Christian is serious. She says yes.

“Okay. So are you allowed out tomorrow?”
“Of course I am.” I hope. I automatically cross my fingers.

That is NOT OK. That’s a bloody terrible state for your relationship to be in.

I switch the phone off.
“Okay.” Christian holds up his hands in defeat. “You hang out with your friend.”

Oh, never mind, there isn’t a problem because he’s LETTING her go out.

“Where are we going?” I ask again as we turn onto a road.
“Surprise,” he says and smile mysteriously.

End of chapter. EL James sure knows how to build suspense.

Read Chapter Eighteen.

Why not let me know what you think? You can buy the book here, or the entire trilogy, if you’re a glutton for punishment. Ironically.

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3 Comments on “50 Shades Darker – Chapter 17

  1. What joke? I read and re-read and then saw you missed it too. We’re probably stupid or blind right? I mean, if ANA saw the joke, how could we have not?

    And. so she’s cured what a professional couldn’t do. It’s the reason so many shrinks kill themselves. Women like Ana make them question their own abilities, their degrees, everything. Then they jump out of 27 stoery windows.

    But, is it just me or was Ana ONLY interested in knowing whether she and Robot could keep having sex and that he’d never leave her for another because he’d only want sex with her from here on out? Did she give a flying fig about his mental and emotional well-being? Because I didn’t see it. Did you?

    • Yes! I don’t think I see anything that EL James has supposedly ‘put into’ this book. It’s like she’s shouting, “Do you see what I did there?” BUT SHE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!
      Thank you for despairing with me!

      • You have no idea how much hope your posts give me for womankind in general. Steadily, you’re diminishing the resounding booms of “Bestseller! Bestseller!” in my head. And, I am ever so thankful to you for that.

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