Updated on August 5, 2015
50 Shades Darker – Chapter 16
Last time we were treated to a detailed description of how Ana wastes her time at work and somehow doesn’t expect to be called out on it. Then the chapter closed with Jack, her boss, literally licking his lips as he looked her up and down. I’m sure she’ll handle herself with her characteristic poise and grace in this chapter.
50 Shades Darker
Jack’s eyes flash the darkest blue.
Oh no, not blue. Grey is fine, but not blue. We don’t trust blue.
…my self-defence class “Keep them talking” mantra circling my brain…
What completely believable plot twist is coming our way, I wonder?
His pupils are dilating as I watch – the black eclipsing the blue.
If it’s ECLIPSING the blue, he’s probably having a stroke.
“You know I had to fight with Elizabeth to give you this job…”
Ha! That backfired on you, didn’t it?
“When I hired you … I thought you had potential. But now … you’ve become distracted and sloppy.”
All true so far.
“Is it your boyfriend who’s leading you astray?”
The short answer is: yes. The long answer is: yes, absolutely.
He reveals that he’s checked her work email account (WHY WAS SHE USING HER WORK EMAIL ACCOUNT?) and seen that all her emails are to Christian. She completely deserves to get caught.
“Are you some company spy, planted in here by Grey’s organisation?”
Pretty stupid question, given that you just said you had to FIGHT to give her the job.
Some subliminal pheromone that Jack is exuding has me on high alert.
Honest, judge, I was sure he’d attack me. It was them subliminal pheromones, you see.
“You just said that you had to persuade to Elizabeth to hire me. So how could I be planted as a spy?”
I hate it when Ana and I think alike.
He twigs that Christian stopped the New York trip because he thought Jack would make a pass at Ana. Clever boy.
“I gave you this job, and I expect you to show me some gratitude.”
That’s not how hiring works. You employ someone to WORK, not be eternally indebted to you.
“So we need to work out a deal. A deal where you keep me happy. D’you understand?”
You should say this: “I do, and I think you’re being a dick. I will not work out a ‘deal’, and if you mention it again I’ll take you to an employment tribunal.”
Yeh, or you could just stay silent. Well done.
He’s blackmailing me! For sex! Sex – with me!
Keep up, love.
“You are such a tight-assed, cock-blocking, prick tease, you know, Ana.”
For being pretty and not fucking me. How inconsiderate!
Ray taught me what to do. Ray knows his self-defense. If Jack touches me … I will take him down.
Can’t wait to see this!
Reaching up, he gently strokes my face with the back of his knuckles … and presses his hand against my chest.
Well, he’s touched you. Time to take him down.
“You want me. Admit it, Ana.”
Any minute now a can of whoop-ass will be opened.
I place my hand gently over his in a caress.
I’m sure she’s building to something great.
I grab his little finger and twist it back. I bring my knee, swift and hard, up into his groin.
And I thought she’d chicken out! Well done, Ana. But remember, a single moment of badassery does not a badass make.
I burst out of the building and stop for a minute … but I haven’t eaten all day, and as the surge of adrenaline recedes, my legs give out beneath me and I sink to the ground.
And there we go, reverting to type. I wonder if Christian will come along and save her?
Christian and Taylor … leaping out of the waiting car and running toward me. Christian sinks to his knees at my side.
So sadly predictable. I will be a strong, capable woman until my man shows up and takes the responsibility off my hands.
She tells Christian what happened and he orders her to get in the car. So that he won’t go and beat up Jack she ‘deploys her ultimate weapon’: asking him not to leave her alone, aka emotional manipulation.
“Christian, he has my emails to you. He was trying to blackmail me.”
He punches a number into his BlackBerry.
“I need you to access the SIP main server and wipe all Anastasia Steele’s emails to me.”
Just wipe all her emails, full stop. God knows she hasn’t written to anyone else.
He dials another number.
“Get him to clear his desk immediately, or I will liquidate his company first thing in the morning.”
My boyfriend has never liquidated a company for me, so how can I be sure he loves me?!
Half an hour later, we see Jack leaving the building with a cardboard box. He should get a gun and team up with Leila. Christian and Ana go back to his place.
“I don’t know if I still have a job.”
“Do you still want one?”
“Then you still have one.”
Simple. See? He is master of my universe.
Oh, screw it. If that’s your attitude you might as well just stay at home all day and present your vagina every time he walks in the room.
The next day, Ana tells Christian that José is coming and she wants to stay at her apartment with him. Blah blah jealous and defensive. Blah blah he’s just my friend. Anyway, they decide that he can stay at Christian’s place with them both.
I wander listlessly through the apartment. Christian is still working.
You mean you have to entertain yourself? How dreadful!
I find myself outside the playroom. Feeling like a child playing hooky, I walk in. Glancing behind me, I spy the museum chest.
A terribly good idea, to snoop around whilst he’s in the apartment with you.
Christian is standing in the doorway.
Because of course he is.
“Always hungry for information, Miss Steele. That’s a butt plug.”
This better be building to an actual, BDSM sex scene or I’ll … I’ll … flog something.
I feel myself turning red as a stoplight.
“Don’t you like the butt drawer?” he asks innocently.
“It’s not top of my Christmas card list.”
Would you … write a card to your butt drawer?
I pick up a large metal cliplike device.
“Genital clamp,” Christian says.
Googled it. Wish I hadn’t.
“That,” says Christian, his eyes darkening, “is a spreader bar with ankle and wrist restraints. You want me to show you?”
“Yes, I want a demonstration,” I whisper as my inner goddess pole vaults from the bunker onto her chaise longue.
Oh good, the inner goddess is back.
They go to his bedroom because last time they fucked in the Red Room she left him, and it’s too painful for him to go back in there. He’s like a recovering alcoholic and his world view has shifted since she left him, apparently, which is why we’re reading a book renowned for kinky sex, without any actual kinky sex in it.
Before he can stop me, I take him into my mouth, sucking hard. The feeling is heady…
Couldn’t have put it better myself!
He tries to step back.
“I’m gonna come, Ana,” he groans.
Good. He comes, loudly and wetly, into my mouth.
He puts the spreader bar on her, so her legs are splayed but her hands are left untied.
“It’s all about anticipation, Ana. What will I do to you?”
Oral sex, probably.
My body bows as his mouth finds me. Oh my.
What a surprise!
I fall … embracing my orgasm, and because my legs are so far apart, it goes on and on and I am lost.
Vaguely, I’m aware that Christian has flipped me onto my stomach.
Blimey. So lost you don’t even notice him turning you over.
“We’re going to try this, baby. If you don’t like it … tell me and we’ll stop.”
Uh oh. Shouldn’t have opened the butt drawer.
He runs his fingers down toward my sex and pauses a beat over my ass. I gasp loudly as I tense under his gentle probing.
“Not today, Ana, but one day.”
Well it sounds bloody sinister when you say it like that.
His fingers move down and around to more familiar territory.
Woah woah woah. He’s gone back to front. Never go back to front! Go and wash your bloomin’ hands.
They both orgasm again and fall asleep. Nothing to write home about. See you next time!
Read Chapter Seventeen.